The Past

I'm changing this post from the repeat it was on Feb 25th 2010 to something new on Feb 16th 2011. Who else can't believe it's 2011 already? Let alone the 16th of February. Let alone almost the end of yet another school year. One that I did not take part in this year. I'm afraid to finish my schooling, because then it would mean I have nothing. Literally nothing. One class to go. Then who knows what? The future I guess.

Anyway, all I wanted to say was.. The past: It's like it happened to a different person. I can't remember many things. I have a strange memory. I can remember that three and a half years ago I watched an episode of Chuck on an airplane to my first CISV camp in Ohio and one of the lines was "I'm a big man-boy" or something along those lines, but don't be too impressed because I wrote it down somewhere and have seen that a few times since. Also, when I talk about my memory I talk about that line so it shows up a lot in my long-term memory.

But I can't remember what I ate yesterday.. let alone earlier today. I can't remember how many times I've gone to the bathroom today or even what time I woke up. But I think part of that is my brain becoming dead from all this tv and couch-sitting I've been doing.

I don't even want to get out. I want to do nothing, because that's easier. Unless I'm fully involved in something it doesn't always feel 'worth it.'

Anyway, so the person in my past who isn't me.. who really truly isn't me, because of how much I'm changed. You have too I'm sure. No one is who they were yesterday.

That person is wondering what the hell happened. And how it happened. And why?

I don't understand time.. it's like a confused witch on a vacuum. I don't know why. I just write sometimes. This is one of those times.